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Lagi 11 hari si dia yang kecil itu akan menyambut hari ulang-tahun ke 5.

Ah, anak kecil itu sering keriangan seakan tidak pernah ada kerisauan padanya.

Mungkin, hanya mungkin, masanya begitu emas.

Seakan nazak, kini tidak keriangan.

Tidak ada ceria.

Ayuh, lawanlah dugaan itu agar kita boleh keriangan semula.

Agar kita boleh teruskan kehadapan bersama.

Aku hanya mampu berdoa.

Catatan kepada laptopku menjelang ulang-tahunnya yang ke 5.

This is a recap of several things happening with me right after the miracle of last friday. The week hasn’t finished yet but i ain’t gonna wait until it’s end coz i got so much to tell.

If you find this entry too long, choose any day that you want to directly skip to and here is the list:

1) Saturday: The Durian Madness

2) Sunday: Wedding & Why I am not ready yet.

3) Monday:  Another Episode of The “Beloved” Prof V’s Craziness

4) Tuesday: We made it through & Canon 20D

5) Wednesday: The Panic Attack of Unexpected Circumstances of an Exam.

6) The Good-food Eating-Streak

The Durian Madness [Saturday, 6th June 09]

Last saturday, Razmi invited me, shaffik, faisal & kay to his uncle’s Durian farm near merlimau, on the way to muar, by the side of the AMJ Highway road. Yes, A DURIAN FARM indeed!

i can’t tell you how much i love durian! being a second to Jambu Batu, yes i love Jambu Batu as the first one, and Durian the second. Oh, i just love the durian.

As we arrived, we went straight to the Durian Farm and search for the Durians on the ground, we found 5 of it and brought them back to Razmi’s uncle house, and there, there is already a lot of Durian stacked by the side of a wooden rack just waiting for us to rip it open.

The best part is, the part where Razmi’s Uncle said, EAT AS MANY DURIANS YOU CAN, but the better part really is, IT IS ALL FOR FREE!! I can’t even remember how many Durian being opened, but i’m sure it is close to 20, let alone it is impossible to remember the number of Durian seeds inside it that i had eaten. I just love the smell of it, and can’t get enough of the taste and the ‘hotness’ sensation. I was definitely in another world!

Shaffik stopped first, followed by Faisal, Razmi, and lastly Kay, that also because Kay came late and started eating only after Shaffik, Faisal and Razmi has finished eating and cannot take it anymore, Faisal already knocked out and slept soundly.

Me? I started first, continue and continue eating without a stop, when Kay arrived, i continue eating with him, and when he stopped, i still continue with it. I just can’t stop! haha….Duriaaaaannn…..

Wedding & Why I am not ready yet. [Sunday, 7th June 09]

Last sunday, Khai and I went to Rohanis’ Wedding, one of our schoolmate back in secondary school is getting married, she is one of the 10 earliest schoolmate getting married. There were, Apai, Azmir, Acong, Nazri, Azrul, Khai, myself, and ariff. Only 8 of us came at that time, and i hear that hery, sitoi and dina had came already earlier before us and already went off from there before we came.

Congrat to Rohanis, another one gone from single to married.

What about me? I ain’t ready yet. Of course i want to, but the time is just not right for me. I have several personal goals i want to achieve first, one of it, is to be a better man, in maturity, religiously & in attitude, for me to be a better husband, a better father and a better person for the community.

Another Episode of The “Beloved” Prof V’s Craziness [Monday, 8th June 09]

In the morning, we knew we were not going to get our “beloved” Prof, and we also knew that we were not going to get him either for the afternoon session. But fate was not on our side, or in a better way, we are fated to get him & at the worst time.

We were with Dr.MM when it happened, suddenly we heard loud, super dang bung bang voice from the other room followed by many people rushing out, and short after our Prof came in and shouted, “You know what i found out with the other group?” he continues… “I found out how bloody fools you are, they are all such a disgrace!”

All of us stunned, utterly eerily keeping silent while waiting for the next word from him. He pointed to Rav & asked, “Tell me the aetiology of Peripheral Vascular Disease!”… errr…err..Rav that usually have the answer stuttered in fear, “co-morbid condition….”, “bloody fools, you shut up, who knows the answer tell me!”

I knew and i said to myselfm don’t put up your hand and don’t answer, but i put my up hand anyhow since i couldn’t stand his voice anymore, just wanna get this over with, with the hope of success.

“Aetiology of it can divided into Acute & Chronic…”.

“Good”

I am relieved

“Tell me what is your next thinking process, to think about the aetiology”

My mind directly pinpoint at The Famous Prof V Aetiology Table, but i held back, since i don’t think this table could fit in the Peripheral Vascular Disease.

“According to Aetiology Table, Sir.” Answered by Raz loudly.

Prof V stared at me with that damning look and said, “Bloody fool, Why can’t u think of the Aetiology Table? You Bloody Disgrace, I know you don’t read and yet you said so, Liar!”

When everyone was stunned, Raz was shaking and the following question he couldn’t answer that leads to the famous two words form the Prof V.

“GET OUUUUUUUUTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

As expected: “I want you all to go to library and read everything in this topic”

Unexpected: “Come back at 6PM and we will continue this class until it finishes”

6PM – 7.30PM we were having the class.

7.30PM – 10PM my group alone has to go to night posting

So, ultimately today, we were having class from 8AM till 10PM. Long & Painful.

We made it through & Canon 20D [Tuesday, 9th June 09]

By luck, or fated it seems, we are going to meet our “beloved” Prof V again for Prostate clinic conducted by him in Muar Hospital.

But perseverance, hardwork and luck brought us to a smooth sailing, can’t be considered rare but strange enough, good and happy 2 HOURS LONG session with him.

Lunch break, i got home and i went to the post office and took my Canon 20D! Amazing stuff! it really looks like new! i’m soo happieee!! hehe

In the afternoon, we had class with Dr. MM on burns and skin grafts. in the night we continued our Night Posting. I knew i will have exam tomorrow. but the thought of the warning Dr. HH has given that we stayed throughout the night posting without fail because our Prof might check on us creeping in me, and i stayed up till only at 10.30PM.

The Panic Attack of Unexpected Circumstances of an Exam. [Wednesday, 10th June 09]

I drove ayim’s car to Muar, and while at it, i’m anxious of what gonna turns out for me, as today is my end-of-posting test for surgery posting. Me, Char,and ayim know that we gonna be taken by Prof.S which has a reputation of failing students, and also has a reputation of being fair at giving marks.

I tried to calm myself deep inside, i knew that i’m gonna present the case i had clerked yesterday, after Prof V’s session. But what lies ahead is what i didn’t even expect.

Just when i reached the Ward, i went to the boy and said, “Apa kabar? ada baik ke hari ni?”

Then he answered = “Tak boleh la bro, baru operation malam tadi.”

Sudden Attack of Panic shoots right through me. I roam around to find for cases and i saw an uncle which i saw yesterday, he was very very superbly cooperative! but he has the same complaints with ayim’s case.

After ayim giving me a blessing and permission to go ahead with the same case, without wasting time i tried to be fast but i was stuttering due to undue anxiety.

While i was talking to the patient, then came a student nurse. “Can we do an ECG on him?”, reluctantly while smiling i said, “Okay yes, why not? hehehe”. A smile on my face but a frown in my heart with palpitation beating hard with anxiousness.

After that, i realized i am lagging behind and i need to speed up, then came a senior staff nurse, saying to the patient, “Uncle, Uncle kene pegi X-Ray ye kejap lagi..”

I was like…… What??!@$%!#%??  no no no… wait…wait..don’t go away…. i haven’t finished collecting information to make a diagnosis yet. I haven’t have a diagnosis thus it is incomplete, the same as, i’m stucked. again. The second panic attack came shriveling down this time from above downward.

I am anxious and clueless, sweats soaked my shirt, and some running down my forehead and into my ear. My soaked shirt is not seen from outside since i wore quite a thick lab-coat.

All i can do is pray inside of me is, “Please Allah, help me with something, anything, even a small thing. Amin.”

Just when i want to start to create an artificial history, Alhamdulillah, within a minute, the help came, when Raz came & told me he had also clerk the patient yesterday, yay! He shares with me the patient’s history and completes all information that i needed & i quickly arranged my presentation before Prof S coming in.

Remember. Always believe in Allah’s help. Always believe. Always.

Alhamdulillah, My Presentation went well and smooth with the usual stumble here and there, but i managed through with difficulty at the treatment part. I got 28/50, written by Prof S. right in front of my eye.

I am happy. Alhamdulillah. Praise be to Allah.

Then, I ponteng the Medical Ethics class, went to Dr. HH class and also ponteng the night posting as well.

I don’t usually ponteng but i was so damn tired, i couldn’t care more, and i just wanted to relax and chilled out. Alhamdulillah.

The Good-food eating-streak

As per usual, the good-food-eating-streak came right after any event in my life and this time it is the combo of:

1) Nasi Briyani Tanam Kambing at Hash Fa Has, Bukit Baru, Melaka for Lunch after the exam;

2) The Melt-in-your-mouth-makes-you-feel-high Double Cheese Nan with Wing Tandoori Chicken at Pak Putra, Bandar Hilir, Melaka for the Dinner;

3) Nasi Briyani Muara Super Gam Kambing at Muara Briyani House in Muar for Lunch just now (Thurday).

ask me if you want to know more about the restaurants that i mentioned above.

Live Long & Prosper.

Today, a miracle happened. I have seen nothing like this before. Not even once!

[THURSDAY 4th JUNE 2009]

(11am) It started during lunch with rav, raz & charles, rav got a message,

“tomorrow morning everyone must get together in the classroom in college, please bring you portfolio cases and your rough work book used in the ward. YOU CAN ALREADY KNOW WHO IS COMING TOMORROW OK”.

There we was, in awe, shocked with the news. Prof V (not his real name), the head of department, the fierce surgeon, will come tomorrow, and he will slice & cut through every bit of us without any hesitation.

(2pm) In the afternoon class, Prof W came in and gave us a newsletter regarding the tomorrow and the next 2 week. Again. Another shock happen.

My group alone will be taken by Prof V himself, instantaneously, fear creep through my skin, anxiety fast becoming entangled with my brain & heart.

In addition to that, I am scheduled to have a Surgery End-of-Posting Test next wednesday, although this posting still have 2 weeks to go.

“Masya-Allah…”

My mind straight away calculated number of case write up needed. By right i should have 8 cases written up by the 4th week. The fastest pace i can write up a really complete case is about 1.5 hours. and I’m short of 3 cases.

(4pm) I got another 16.5 hours to go before tomorrow 8.30am for Prof V’s class.

in my calculation, i need 1.5×3=4.5 hours. + i need another hour to fill up empty spaces in previous cases. And my portfolio is in dire condition. I need to repair it back at the Uncle Photostat shop (besides the 7 eleven). That would amounting to 4.5+1+1 = 6.5 hours.

16.5 hours – 6.5 hours = 10 hours – 6 hours sleep = 4 hours for Eating, relaxing, shower and etc.

(4.30pm) i started to write cases in the Library. Then got back home and continue and without even getting up i did a long marathon of writing cases non stop for a few hours.

I only had 6 slices of bread with Tuna Mayonaise Light and by 2 am in the wee of morning i felt dizzy, headache, nausea and felt like to throw up. I stopped. I just sleep. I just reached my maximum capacity

I only managed 7 cases. 1 more? naaah… i’ll drop dead if i continue.

[FRIDAY, 5th JUNE 2009]

(8.30am sharp) Rav, 1mm, charles, and ayim looks as nervous as me, and rav said he only managed 6 cases. Ayim said she finished 7 cases that took her till 4 am before she slept.

{8.40am) Arrival of Prof V. He wears small boxes blue shirt with striking green tie.

(8.45am) “Give me your case”, as he pointed out toward ayim. My heart is pounding hard, but with a smile on my face, to hide my anxiety from him. I prayed hard in myself, “let there be no slip-up, please, amin”.

(8.50am) “where is your drawing??!” said Prof V in slightly neutral face. ayim replied = “Oh, Uh, i forgot sir!”……

(8.50am, 55 second on the clock) ……..An eerie silence creeping through in all of us…. any moment now the “bloody-hell-stupid-donkey” yanking will come out from his mouth…. it felt like it was the longest moment of today.

(8.51am) “Oh okay, but you should have drawn it my dear, it’s easier for me to check and correct your case write-up, don’t forget about it after this okay!”

I was completely utterly taken aback by that, totally unexpected of him. Then, i already realized he is in a good mood today. Alhamdulillah.

(8.52 am – 10 am) WHY IT IS A MIRACLE.

The session went through smoothly.

The miracle was: Prof V does not even utter a single yanking word of his usual-yanking manner to us even though me and ayim made many mistakes,

And especially i did a super-grave-double-trouble-damn-big mistake = I write Left side, but my drawing shows the swelling is on the right side of the patient’s body.

He just says in soft and respectful voice = “This is a dangerous mistake, don’t ever repeat this again okay, remember that.”

SUCH A MIRACLE!  why? see below to read how he usually responded.

Normal Prof V in his normal day in normal mood responds for a very simple mistake=

(in LOUD, YANKING manner of Voice, in front of 30+ people which is your friends, doctors, and patients)

“Hey you donkey, I can’t tolerate this stupid mistake, you stupid fool doctor, you are such a disgrace in the community, what fools are you? You don’t fit to become a doctor! How can a patient be treated the way you did? You Bloody Rascal you don’t even know what you are doing, yet you say you want to treat the patient, you Bloody Fool! “

wait…not finished yet….

“You all are stupid, bloody rascal (while pointing finger to our group,still in front 30+ people), Bloody Hell! You all are a JOKER you know, coming here, standing, go here and there and never actually study and pretending to become doctor, Bloody disgrace! There are no other people more stupid than you, you stupid dungu! You all are nitwick, true bugger, bugger of the first order! Shame on you stupid fools! You are not belong here.”

“GET OUUUUUTTT!!!!!!!” while he pointed the way out of the ward.

It is not depending whether you studied enough or not, it always depends on his mood. For a real long time, a lot of us has done thorough observation & study on him and we conclude it really come down to his own mood swings.

BUT not today. Today is RARE. Today he is so nice, and none of the words uttered from his mouth. I would say, Alhamdulillah…. No bigger word to describe how grateful i am. More grateful because i’m able to witness with my own eye of this miracle. Allah is Great!

In the end, a lot of other mistakes we made but he was so nice and just rectify us with smooth soft tone with good vocabulary. He went off the class at 10am and left us happy and we remembered well what he thought in the class.

When he actually teaching, he is good…but you rarely get that….you know what i mean…hehehehehehehe……

I got back and slept, and during friday prayers, i was shivering, sweating, couldn’t stand, and felt very weird. I think i’m hypoglycemic, since my last big meal was yesterday’s 11am lunch. I got back at the house and just eat the tuna can and finished it off plus some cold drink water. I got better.

That’s it for today. This is mine. What is your Miracle of lately?

for the moment, i just love tuesday for several reasons:

1. It is the next day after monday, which means i already got through MV either with a win or with a loss. (either way it is a relieve, furthermore if attendance is given)

2. Today, without a doubt, (until next week), as the same previous 3 weeks, for sure MV won’t be coming to Melaka Hospital, and in the afternoon he wouldn’t be in Sports Complex either.

3. Class as usual in the morning will finish early and today it finished at 10.30am, and the afternoon class also will finish early, that was around 3.30pm just now.

item 1, item 2 & item 3 makes me just love so much tuesday, but that won’t be long, because next 2 tuesday would be a nightmares……!!

i’m enjoying while i can now.

in the word of Commander Spock: Live Long & Prosper !

I just came back from Bangi & arrived in Melaka last night at around 9pm.

What a weekend it was. Awesome but at the same very tiring. But i learned a lot also.

Last friday:

A friend in KDU college, whom i get to know about 5 years ago, who was a very chill person, who always thinking what to do the next day, can only think what clothes to buy, what food to eat and what movie to watch next, and all that sort of thing. He loves being single & don’t want any sort of attachment. I know him, and know his attitude very well.

He told me. “I bet that you will be married early, at least before me!”.

But on friday, i attended his Marriage Ceremony, The Majlis Akad Nikah in Bandar Baru Salak Tinggi, Sepang, Selangor. Reality did not sink in fast in me, considering it is him. How things can changed dramatically only in a few years. He seems to be very calm, relaxed, his words shows maturity, and the fact that he is marrying the person he love, before he even finish his degree, shows just about everything, shows that he is matured, ready for a new world.

Anyhow, he still retains the same, that little bit cheerfulness & ’selamba’ style. Ah, good ol’ friend….

Congratulation Zaim!

Last Saturday:

In the morning i went to ChartNexus Stock Selection Seminar, there i learned about drawing resistance & support to the chart that we want, in any counter of the Stock Market. It was fun, and i’m glad that more young people, and more malay people is joining this type of Seminar, the one where they teach you how to make more money from Stock Market, by being a “Trader”.

I’m hoping to be a good & sound trader. By my friend’s word: “Trading is not about money, it is good when it is about being a good trader, stick to your strategy, know the right thing to do at the right time”.

Thereafter i went to my friend’s friend wedding. I didn’t know the couple since i was just following my friend right after the seminar. We were in Klang, and the streets are crowded & topsy turvy, and the Map on the Invitation Card didn’t help either.

Luckily we have Nokia Maps on two phones, first it was my phone and i used it until the battery dies, and we still havent reach yet, then continued with my friend’s phone, till we reach the designated ceremony, right there, my friend’s phone also died out of battery.

Two mighty phones strives till the end of battery, ‘berjuang sehingga titisan battery terakhir’ to reach the friend’s wedding.

After that late in the afternoon, i followed my friend to Songket’s house.

He is buying songket to match his baju melayu for akad nikah.

His fiancee told me, as i was helping my friend & blabbering about choices of colour and style: “ko ni dah sesuai nampak jadi pengapit”. aiyoyo…my old habit came back without im realizing, even in the songket’s house!, the one when i usually accompany anyone to shopping, i would be criticizing, helping & pointing out features of anything that they buying.

This time also: This closest friend of mine is also getting married, compared to yesterday, this friend of mine, for me, has had much more remarkable changes in his attitude & way of thinking. Maybe when we knew each other, we were still very young, very child-like attitude. Suddenly Taylor Swift song came through my mind, in the Love Story song in one line of the song:

“We were both young, when i first saw you”.

Apakah? (ala2 ayim sket)

What? I couldn’t be that jiwang? hahahaha…I’m just too happy for him. Congratulation friend!

Yesterday:

In the morning i was playing squash with a friend. He managed to win one set. He made progress so very much, i’m still very much the same, couldn’t be more than that. Sooner or later i’ll be bullied by him in Squash play. haha… but it was fun, after serious play, there will be some tired-induced sloppy play & different kind of new invention.

We were playing Badminton-Squash yesterday as well as Sepak Takraw Squash, i dont want to elaborate any further but it was damn funny! Hah Hah.

Later in afternoon, i helped my mom to pack up the “pelamin” from one of her customer house. My mom said she want to go urut2, so i have to be “son of the boss” to go there and pick those pelamin up back to my mom’s saloon & bridal center.

go to purwati.com.my for further info ok.

Today:

I was so tired in the morning, i barely survive the first 20 minutes in Prof. Wong class, after that it’s only standing to survive till the end of class, every minutes wishing the class would finish faster and faster.

And there was MV class in the afternoon.

We were discussing beforehand in the Sports Complex as a group. I told to myself i wont be beaten by MV and tried my best to answer all the question, but i ended up sleeping in the couch that were present in the Sp.Complex classroom. Perhaps i was too tired.

MV came, shouted, bang, spitting away all his sensible-nonsense to us, and it irritates me and i tried my best ‘berjuang’ fighting sword to sword, increased my voice and put more confidence in it, although being number of time getting scolded, and it was a win on my side.

I am happy but i know i couldn’t be completely joyful since, “Only The Battle has been won, But there War is not over yet”. The war is referring to Surgery Posting.

At the end of it, i want to enjoy & went to the new Mydin Mall, Ayer Keroh,Melaka. Yes, indeed, a “Mydin” Mall!!! It was so damn big! I’m enjoying my hobby of shopping and looking stuff around a-la window shopping & got back home Rm100++ worth of stuff!

Tomorrow & Beyond: let’s just hope everything is going smoothly for me!