Near the end dilemma & Study Marathon
When I joined the course 5 years ago, i was a different person,
i’ve been a better person now, but also picked up several not-so-good stuff along the way,
The first 2 year was probably most diffiult, especially the first one,
but i matched with unparallel effort in study, in terms of effort of study, it was the best 2 year in my whole life,
It slowly dwindled in the 3rd year but rise in 4th year but not-so-much, but then steeply increase by the end of 4th year exam.
It was the best moment after passing the 4th year exam, the same feeling of passing the 1st & 2nd year exam,
Maybe i enjoyed myself too much & thinking it will be smooth all the way till the end.
Now i’m in the period where during my first year i can’t even imagine how it would be like, i just think at that time,
that maybe when i’m nearing the end i would be that good, as to be level with the profession i’m going to take up.
But the truth is, i think i’m in the slump again. Compare now and the first 2 years, you will find the effort that i put, is like 5 times less,
The weird thing is, up till now i haven’t had the awareness yet, im not feeingl the danger and that is the most dangerous thing of all.
I had always felt before, it would never end, i mean, this studying for exam thing since i enter college,
During the first year i say to myself i would study hard, when it comes to the near of it.
But i’m doing nothing.
I’ve seen many of my friends already kick up their own study preparation, study group or whatever. Me? Nothing!
Let be honest about it, I am really afraid of the exam, i am afraid of failure, because if that happens, i am afraid that my world would crumble & fall apart.
I need the strength to confront the fear, not hide & consumed by it. If i continue like this, i will surely fail, higher chances of it happening.
I need to put my study marathon headband, tie all loose ends, prepare for life without any fun, and become serious more than ever.
I know i am capable of doing study marathon, i am capable to study like there’s no tomorrow, i’ve done that several time before.
To do that, it will be so tiresome, so energy-consuming, and time-consuming. The tired part of it that i don’t like, when i thought about previous marathon.
I have no choice now, i need to do the study marathon again, by hook or by crook, i have to swallow all the tired aspect of it in order to be successful.
Maybe my previous results was good, but it doesn’t necessarily confirm my future. People can say whatever they want, but i don’t think im brilliant.
The future lies on my current effort. The future result would be the sum of your current effort.
It would be approximately only 2 months left before the final exam of all, the MBBS exam, the one & only, the last gate that i need to pass through.
I have to think that i’ve come all the way up to this point through so many obstacles, is it worth to throw it away because i want to relax a bit?
I can’t. it’s not the time to relax yet. I can’t afford to throw it away. It’s so huge so i have to continue fighting, and fight till the last sand of time.
Fight and Fight, Fight your own devil, Fight your own laziness, It’s yourself that stands in the way of you! Nobody say it would be easy, but nobody say it is impossible,
So jabbar, come on & let’s fight and study and leave everything behind, only study should be with you all the time.
No one will support you, not even your fiancee, not even your closest of friends. why?
they have problems of their own and you can’t always fall back on them when there’s a slight scratch on your study marathon.
You need to support yourself! don’t worry, it’s for only 2 months, and the best part of it, It won’t kil you. It won’t, ever! If it does, kill prof.razak. ~jokes 🙂
Shall we start the study marathon? Why not i start it today? What is the harm of starting today? Why postpone tomorrow? Why? No answer!
So, Start now! Yeah, Start the Study Marathon now! Now! Yeah, Now!